Hmm..Interesting.
Came across this interesting article on long-distance relationships on MSNtoday.
It definitely caught my interest because I was involved in a long-distance relationship once upon a time.
The article was entitled "Four Secrets to Long-Distance Relationships".
Let me just summarize the thing, okays?
Here goes
Secret #1
Disagree, but Don't Argue
"We listen to each other — we disagree, but we never argue," says Answerology member stillagoodguy1. "We hear each other's point of view, and either reach a middle ground or just drop it."
Going to bed angry is a bad enough feeling to start with, but couple that with hundreds or thousands of miles between you and you have a recipe for disaster. Keep State of the Union discussions in-person only if you can help it, and get out of the habit of texting entire conversations instead of calling. There's more room for miscommunication and misunderstands via text, so avoid typing something you'll regret later and make it a rule not to hash out relationship issues, big or small, over text.
Hmm..good point. This is what I think of it:
-Reaching middle ground or just dropping a subject, is FINE at the beginning of any relationship.. True, when two people first get into a a relationship, be it their first or consequent ones, they want everything to go smoothly. They give it their best. Right. Totally understandable.
-What if "reaching middle ground/dropping the subject" is a slow but effective catalyst of an impending reason of a break-up? What if it is proof that the partner has clearly no respect for his or her partner's opinion? Dropping a subject is just another way of saying, "Yeah, whatever, I still think I'm right. Whatever you say is just coming in THIS way and going out THE OTHER"
What happens next?
Resentment. You start to begrudge the person. However, there'll be this disguise of tolerance running through your head. And then one day, you find yourself saying, "You know what? I've had it with you. that's IT" And yada yada yadaaa...."i'm breaking up with you"
Of course, all this doesn't apply if you really ARE tolerant O.o
OK. Moving on
Secret #2
Keep It Fresh
"We always act like the relationship is brand-new," stillagoodguy1 adds. "By keeping it fresh it always seems like it is. We send each other cards and texts and gifts and talk four or five times a day; the last being at her bedtime so that there is an 'I love you' hanging in the air until our morning call."
Renew that puppy love feeling often — keep flirting with each other and doing the little things you did when your relationship was just starting out. When you can't see your significant other, it's all that much more important to remind them how much they mean to you. So go ahead and be corny — bring on the "just because" gifts, old-school love letters, and cutesy nicknames!
No comments. This almost made me puke. I swear. ACT like it's new? ACT? Right.
Secret #3
Communicate Every Day
Answerology user ptawillis was stationed thousands of miles away from his sweetheart for three years while in the army. His secret? "We kept in touch daily and wrote each other as often as we could."
Talking every single day might be overkill in a normal relationship, but when you're long-distance, lack of communication can prey on insecurities. Reassure each other of your commitment with some kind of daily communication, whether it's a morning phone call or impromptu text messages and e-mails. It might feel tedious sometimes, but try not to let yourselves slack — it's important to keep each other up-to-date when you're not involved in the day-to-day of each other's lives.
Hmm...i thought absence ought to make the heart grow fonder. In my case, this was definitely true. I think my ex and I spoke too often, until I felt suffocated. I hated to admit it. But then, it was the truth..so..yeah. *sigh*
Secret #4
Live Your Own Life
kanji2000 reminds us, "Just realize that your partner still has a life that he/she has to live." His long-distance relationship went sour when his girlfriend planned their wedding ... before he had proposed! "Don't push for marriage immediately just because you miss your partner sooo much," he warns.
An ocean between two people has a tendency to add an intensity and urgency to the relationship that might not necessarily exist without the distance. Keep things in perspective, and be patient. It's important to talk about the future and keep the conversation going about your plans to eventually be in the same zip code, but don't push for a commitment before you're ready. And don't let your relationship consume you and get in the way of your daily life. If you can't make it through dinner with friends without breaking out your laptop and Skyping your significant other, it might be time to step back and shift your priorities.
I probably shouldn't write what I'm gonna write next in my blog. But I don't think I have a choice. OK, actually I do - the choice of NOT writing it. But hey, guess what..instincts telling me otherwise. And I always follow my instincts. Almost, always.
To whom it may concern:
Secret #4 is exactly what I had in mind when I said what I said. It just didn't come out right.
I don't mean the marriage thing, aite. EW. ok..you know what..I'm just hoping against all odds, that you DO get what I mean.
I regret it very much that things turned out the way they did and there definitely IS a another reason as to why I broke it off. Not sure if I told you so. But yeah, there is..
I hope you get what I mean..
I don't know what I expect from this whole..confession..
It's because of this indecisiveness that I'm not talking it out with you in-person..
May God bless..
B**B**
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlemcmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=20968505>1=32023
that's where I got the "secrets" from..oh well..totes to the author..was worthwhile reading..=D
It definitely caught my interest because I was involved in a long-distance relationship once upon a time.
The article was entitled "Four Secrets to Long-Distance Relationships".
Let me just summarize the thing, okays?
Here goes
Secret #1
Disagree, but Don't Argue
"We listen to each other — we disagree, but we never argue," says Answerology member stillagoodguy1. "We hear each other's point of view, and either reach a middle ground or just drop it."
Going to bed angry is a bad enough feeling to start with, but couple that with hundreds or thousands of miles between you and you have a recipe for disaster. Keep State of the Union discussions in-person only if you can help it, and get out of the habit of texting entire conversations instead of calling. There's more room for miscommunication and misunderstands via text, so avoid typing something you'll regret later and make it a rule not to hash out relationship issues, big or small, over text.
Hmm..good point. This is what I think of it:
-Reaching middle ground or just dropping a subject, is FINE at the beginning of any relationship.. True, when two people first get into a a relationship, be it their first or consequent ones, they want everything to go smoothly. They give it their best. Right. Totally understandable.
-What if "reaching middle ground/dropping the subject" is a slow but effective catalyst of an impending reason of a break-up? What if it is proof that the partner has clearly no respect for his or her partner's opinion? Dropping a subject is just another way of saying, "Yeah, whatever, I still think I'm right. Whatever you say is just coming in THIS way and going out THE OTHER"
What happens next?
Resentment. You start to begrudge the person. However, there'll be this disguise of tolerance running through your head. And then one day, you find yourself saying, "You know what? I've had it with you. that's IT" And yada yada yadaaa...."i'm breaking up with you"
Of course, all this doesn't apply if you really ARE tolerant O.o
OK. Moving on
Secret #2
Keep It Fresh
"We always act like the relationship is brand-new," stillagoodguy1 adds. "By keeping it fresh it always seems like it is. We send each other cards and texts and gifts and talk four or five times a day; the last being at her bedtime so that there is an 'I love you' hanging in the air until our morning call."
Renew that puppy love feeling often — keep flirting with each other and doing the little things you did when your relationship was just starting out. When you can't see your significant other, it's all that much more important to remind them how much they mean to you. So go ahead and be corny — bring on the "just because" gifts, old-school love letters, and cutesy nicknames!
No comments. This almost made me puke. I swear. ACT like it's new? ACT? Right.
Secret #3
Communicate Every Day
Answerology user ptawillis was stationed thousands of miles away from his sweetheart for three years while in the army. His secret? "We kept in touch daily and wrote each other as often as we could."
Talking every single day might be overkill in a normal relationship, but when you're long-distance, lack of communication can prey on insecurities. Reassure each other of your commitment with some kind of daily communication, whether it's a morning phone call or impromptu text messages and e-mails. It might feel tedious sometimes, but try not to let yourselves slack — it's important to keep each other up-to-date when you're not involved in the day-to-day of each other's lives.
Hmm...i thought absence ought to make the heart grow fonder. In my case, this was definitely true. I think my ex and I spoke too often, until I felt suffocated. I hated to admit it. But then, it was the truth..so..yeah. *sigh*
Secret #4
Live Your Own Life
kanji2000 reminds us, "Just realize that your partner still has a life that he/she has to live." His long-distance relationship went sour when his girlfriend planned their wedding ... before he had proposed! "Don't push for marriage immediately just because you miss your partner sooo much," he warns.
An ocean between two people has a tendency to add an intensity and urgency to the relationship that might not necessarily exist without the distance. Keep things in perspective, and be patient. It's important to talk about the future and keep the conversation going about your plans to eventually be in the same zip code, but don't push for a commitment before you're ready. And don't let your relationship consume you and get in the way of your daily life. If you can't make it through dinner with friends without breaking out your laptop and Skyping your significant other, it might be time to step back and shift your priorities.
I probably shouldn't write what I'm gonna write next in my blog. But I don't think I have a choice. OK, actually I do - the choice of NOT writing it. But hey, guess what..instincts telling me otherwise. And I always follow my instincts. Almost, always.
To whom it may concern:
Secret #4 is exactly what I had in mind when I said what I said. It just didn't come out right.
I don't mean the marriage thing, aite. EW. ok..you know what..I'm just hoping against all odds, that you DO get what I mean.
I regret it very much that things turned out the way they did and there definitely IS a another reason as to why I broke it off. Not sure if I told you so. But yeah, there is..
I hope you get what I mean..
I don't know what I expect from this whole..confession..
It's because of this indecisiveness that I'm not talking it out with you in-person..
May God bless..
B**B**
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlemcmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=20968505>1=32023
that's where I got the "secrets" from..oh well..totes to the author..was worthwhile reading..=D
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