Anger

This word is synonymous to every human being. Every living thing, even. Animals have feelings too, no?

There is a good reason why I have chosen to blog about this particular human emotion. I used to let anger get the better of me for as long as I could remember, up till I was about 14?

I had a horrible temper. I blew my top for every damned thing. lolz. I can use the D-word while being funny about it now. But those days...nah-uh.

I remember once, when I was 13 years old and I was the assistant class monitor. I was in-charge of the class pass. Largely known as "pas keluar". Lolz. There were two of it, made out of thick plastic. Green in colour with white writing.

So one day, I lost one of em. Someone took it and failed to return it. My haywire memory failed me as to who took it last. I found the broken pass at the back of the class, hidden in a desk.

Man I was furious.

I took responsibilities seriously (at the time la..now, rilek bebbbb).

And yes, you guessed it. I blew my top.

I blew my top so LOUD that I think maybe smoke was comin outta my ears.

I shouted..and went on and on...nagging em.

Threatening, even.

See how many negative things I did there? See how many misdeeds I had committed myself right there?

One, I reprimanded my classmates. Not nicely. Two, I nagged.

And finally, the worst of em all, I lost control of myself.

The mind is a dangerous place...and it's up to the owner of the thoughts to control it.

In retrospect, I definitely could have handled the situation better. I could have just reported the matter to the form teacher. Duh.

I just took things too seriously..

Ahem.

What's that I see? Excuses for an inexcusable behaviour?!

Lolz...seriously, it was inexcusable. Inexcusable in my own terms...to me. Regardless of what people thought of my behaviour, I take full responsibility for losing my temper like that.

Sigh.

I often made history back then.

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You must be wondering what's the point of all this story-telling.

Well you see, yours truly was in the kitchen preparing dinner just now. I was making my first curry in the UK :D

I was really in a very good mood I swear..just decided that I should go ahead and keep true to my roots and enjoy some good ol Malaysian food la weh.

I swear, Britons have their own version of curry. Now that just won't do for a Malaysian Indian native like me, would it?

Thus the endeavour to dish up egg curry :)

It went well...but...

Ha...there's always a but in happy stories.

You may add a "t" to that "but" if you want to. Cos this seriously felt like the person was doing that.

Enter an ANGRY soul.

Yay. The word has finally popped into the post.

You see, angry soul - we shall angry soul, angry person from now on - entered the kitchen. Angry person's food had just finished baking in the oven. Way before angry person came downstairs to check on it.

So, yours truly helped angry person switch the timer and oven off. We don't want a fire, now do we. Freaking cold, outside remember? The alarm rings its butt off and that's exactly where we would have ended up.

But nah..a fire wouldn't have started that fast anyway..lolz

Dramatic effect la.

So ok. Back to our happy-but-cacat-ed story.

Angry person came in. Saw that the oven was already switched off and set off placing the food on angry person's plate.

And then, the storm came.

It was all whooooshhh swoooshhh as angry person walked about the kitchen preparing the finishing touches to the food. Guess angry person was really hungry.

Our kitchen door has this handicap. It slams shut like a goddamn guillotine hammer every time someone opens it and let's go of it suddenly.

Unless you bring the door to its hinges slowly, the whole house rattles a little. And you go deaf for a moment.

Such intensity the slam holds.

And angry person HATES this. And so angry person has, unsurprisingly been the most enthusiastic advocate to complain every time the door does the slam show. Of course, the person who organised the slam show would be blamed, gossipped about...with all kinds of swear words and grunts hurled at em.

Behind their back, usually. And in one unfortunate incident, on Facebook. Tch tch tch. That was some fiasco back there...

But hey ho..what do we have here...angry person is the guilty person this time.

Ha..

Angry person pulls off an AWESOME slam show dude. I swear. It was awesome.

Indeed.

I had my MP3 blaring in my ears man.

Of coursE, I didn't go deaf.

But hearing the slammin' I really went deaf momentarily and my heart did a little jump.

Lainla kalo the heart jump was cos of a crush or wat ryte..this was bona fide shock man.

So. Sigh..was obvious that angry person was indeed....angry.

O.o

You see, angry person and I recently got into a misunderstanding. And I have chosen to distance myself from angry person. For my own freakin good.

Guess it's not harbouring well with angry person.

Oh well.

Tough luck.

Anyhow, dear followers...the thing is, anger.

It's perfectly normal to have that emotion.

You're only human. You're only alive.

People have different dispositions.

Some are just naturally angry most of the time. Or at least, look angry.

That's besides the point.

The point is, while you can't help but feel anger once in a while, you can help how you choose to deal with it.

Bottom line is that you are upset right? Displeased.

So, show it.

Not anger. But the displeasure.

There's a difference.

Anger is most often than not, associated with violence. Talk about slam shows la ar. *cough*lie*cough*

Displeasure, is a more genteel way of showing it. Lolz

In my experience, it's better to practise the latter.

The former just brings about unnecessary embarrassment and imprints an undignified impression on others. Adds tension to the whole issue, as well.

Sigh.

I was shocked, I'll admit it.

But if the anger was directed at me, well angry person, I have this to say: I have not wronged you in any way. I can swear to it. You on the other hand, have. But then again, who am I to judge? I will not accuse angry person of any wrong deed. No. It is after all largely dependent on how I choose to react to whatever the wrongdoing was, if there was any, in the first place right?

It so happens that I have chosen to stay true to my nature.

Of rather be an honest critic than a hypocrite, thank you very much.

If I were to go on pretending like I was fine being friends with angry person, I would be betraying my conscience to the point that I doubt I would ever forgive myself.

Call me melodramatic la weh. I cannot afford to lose time and energy worrying about tongues wagging.

I am in no way perfect. I have my flaws too. I believe in accepting flaws in friends. Sad to say that there's a limit to that acceptance level as well.

I am not bound by any personal interest to reject angry person because of these flaws.

But I am definitely bound by my conscience.

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Now, let's wrap this post up with the subject matter aite?

Lolz...

Getting too serious. Not cool.

So..anger. It is a weakness. As scary and "strong" or intimidating you might look like when you lose your temper, you are at the losing end in the long run.

Heck, you don't even need the long run. At that very moment you throw a tantrum, you won't be able to think right. Thoughts will be running through every person who is present in the same room as you. Probably thinking how very unnecessary all the drama is...and yes, you guessed it. How immature.

Is that strong? Does immaturity mean you are unbeatable? Especially if you are already 21, an age where you are probably expected to possess a respectable amount of maturity.

Doesn't make sense, no? Ha...

Think about it.

The next time you choose to be "fair" to yourself and show your temper openly..throw things about or hurl swear words or slam doors *cough*lie*cough*, think about the damage you are doing to yourself.