To condemn or to listen and help?

Been doing a lot of blog walking these past few days. For those of you who are not familiar with the term, it basically means stalkingreading blogs like how you would stalkvisit profiles on say, Facebook.

Topics were mostly on the good and the bad of the youths in the Indian community. Nothing wrong to comment...in fact I'm not even going to give my viewpoint on any of the many topics that the dedicated bloggers discussed. 

I just think that...we are so quick to label, so quick to judge...to say who's right and wrong. And..no, I'm not going to tell them to take a look at themselves first...the former statement is just what I realised after reading. 

I will be 21 years old come October..and this transition between teenage and adulthood has been quite a revelation for me on so many levels. I have learnt that independence and responsibility for your actions is something that works side by side and are things that you cannot run away from, friends are more of acquaintances and companions with benefits that befit them rather than "like family" and I am also learning to accept myself for the type of person that society has made me to be. That being said, however, there is always new space for improvement being created every now and then. Being an adult of course has not happened overnight..it's not called "being" for nothing...it's a process..

Anyhow, coming back to the topic at hand...being quick to label and judge. Starting from September 2010, I enrolled in a university overseas and lived away from home for 10 months till last July up to the present day, being home for the summer holidays. Being away from home taught me independence above all other new beginnings. It also brought with it difficulties which I I think were blessings in disguise - maybe a better way to term them are challenges. 

Before leaving for the UK, I had 3 months of free time, for preparatory purposes (BTN camp trip being one of them). During that time, I had lots of time to think of my future. What bothered me the most was that the time spent overseas would be responsible for changing me into this unrecognisable person in the future. What if this change was to be temporary and what if I "woke up" in the far future to find that this person was not what I wanted to be at all, someone that I would despise wholeheartedly? What if all the people who knew me would say, "She has changed.." blabla..aka labeling, name-calling and so on.

What changes exactly...UK is on the west side of the globe. Which means, a different culture with a different set of values. Malaysia is not alienated from these "Western" values as I have come to realise from all these blogs that I read. Social activities such as frequenting clubs (also called pubs) are of the norm in the UK. From what I have read in the blogs, I observed that "clubbing" is most often an act of rebellion by Indian teenage girls and boys. This is what I saw being implied by the writer. There were also some who claimed to "club decently". True, I don't find it difficult to agree that there indeed exists a practice as such. The issue is that the writer seems to be irked by the fact that the people who clubbed indecently (dressing skimpily, being intoxicated by alcohol so much so that they forget themselves, losing control..etc etc) were Indians and that this was bad. Morally unacceptable, I suppose?

Even though this would not be the case at all in a Western society, I was still apprehensive. My father has never been a champion of the fact that his daughter would be allowed to drink or smoke for the matter. He understands what addiction means and naturally, his take on the matter. I used to wonder what it would be like...but sooner or later, my father's warnings set into my mind.  

This particular blog that I read had good intentions written all over it. The blogger might not have the most polished of ways to bring his message across, but as aforementioned, the thought is what counts most. 

Indian girls were more or less chastised for being attention seekers the way they are. This includes the way they dress, the way they bring themselves about in public (in the presence of other Indians or boys, to be specific), their clubbing activities, their Facebook excessive and random friend-adding practices, sleeping with anyone they wish to..blabla..the list goes on. In other words, in their bid to be "happening". 


Sigh.

Everyone goes through this stage in their teenage. The question is whether they bow to the pressure or not. To me, it all depends on their upbringing and family values. It comes down to that most of the time. And if fortunate, these girls will learn the hard way. If the rebellious attitude does not exist innately within their true selves, they will wake up sooner or later to know what they really want out of life. If not, well...it's not unfortunate, mind you. It's just the way they really are. No one needs to explain why they are a certain way. It is really worthwhile to explain their very being? Who are we to judge? Does it really make any sense at all? The story of the man with the donkey comes to mind. 




The blogger that I am referring to is intelligent and sensitive in the sense that he does not really judge these young girls and boys, but rather gives some sort of tough love, I suppose? 

 
 The people who seemed to be very quick in judging the "perpetrators" were the commentators of the various posts. Perhaps we should really take some time to put ourselves into the actually naive youngsters' shoes and see the world from their point of view. And ask ourselves, what seems to be the real problem? The root of all this rebellion...


Condemning them just seems to be too harsh.