Banu da GREAT's take on relationships and dreams (latest)

Your's truly isn't feeling very well..sorethroat and abit of a flu hovering close. Fever has been successfully murdered, thankfully..Always on the lookout for a resurrection.

With the sore throat, I haven't been able to talk as much...thoughts have conquered all the space.

The thoughts that have been visiting me for the past few days:

Mostly about every lover's usual woes. Crazy stuff.

• Looks like in most relationships, people tend to confuse their dreams and their partner's. If you look at it closely (and practically), there are two types of dreams or life goals. One category is filled with YOUR personal dreams, the other, you and your partner's combined. Very few couples are lucky enough to combine those dreams and take the middle path..to look at their partner's dream as their own and pursue it with the same fervour they would grant their personal goals.

• Dissatisfaction arises...usually resting in the sidelines. Resentment builds without you realising. And once the relationship looks like it's about to be doomed, it gleefully takes complete control.

• Here's a fact. You don't stop living as a single entity (of a person) once you get into a relationship. Sounds silly if you were to say...there's no me without him/her. As romantic and selfless (nature of being in love) as that may sound like, it just isn't the case really, is it. Your "dreams" are an analogy of your existence. Something seemingly solid that defines purpose for you to exist. Some sort of trajectory in life. Don't lose that footing. You and your dreams keep you sane..trust me..lolz..cos in a relationship, I see that most of the time people are caught up in this illusion that since they co-exist as ONE with their partners, all negative feelings do not deserve a place. Not true. Negative feelings remind you of how lucky you were before and what you are capable of should you get past those feelings. (being positive all the time defeats the very definition of "positive" la anyways..). Anyhow, the idea here is that whatever personal woes you might be experiencing, it is YOURS to solve. Try your best not to bring your partner into it. He or she should help you, yes...but not take any blame.

One conclusion to all of the above....(i figured i should stop here..or i'll just give you a scary glimpse of my convoluted mind =D)

Perfect yourself (perfection = your own custom-made definition) to all those singletons out there. You'll experience better peace in relationships. For those already in blissful (or otherwise) relationships, identify your priorities in life and keep that apart from your relationship.

Should help..