Yes, I am guilty, thank you very much

To all you peeps out there who has been there for a dear friend or family when they were troubled, just give yourself a pat on the back, would ya.. :)

Hey y'all...

Yours truly has no smileys to offer on this post...as in the "happy" smiley..cos honestly, who would be smiling all the time right..

Lolz..

There goes the lolz again..oh well. Old habits die hard.

You know, for once, I can truly say that I miss Malaysia.

I miss home one heck of a lot. I swear.

You can't just read that sentence and say, "uh, yeah, she misses home. Right."

You don't get it by just reading that. You will never know how it really is like unless you are away from home, for real. And let's just say you're from Klang and you get your ass whipped to some place north like Penang or Kedah...haha, no way man. It ain't that simple.

Imagine thousands of miles okeh..when you know the possibility of hopping onto the next bus is close to negative 15 or something.

So, ok. I won't just say I miss home and leave it at that...and make the post look whiny and shitz..

Here's why Banu Da Great misses home so da sgt da very much.

I am on winter break right now right? Or term break, either one la...

Usually, when I am on break, I'll be back at home, in Klang...surrounded by my dad, mum...my piano...my neighbours' dogs. Especially Simba, who is just impossible to ignore, as small as he is..he thinks he's all that..but oh well..you get the picture.

But now, all I'm surrounded by is well....more like what I am surrounding the place with la..overloading actually - it is that bad lolz..

It's just me, and the room-for-one, the laptop, ASDA and shopping for groceries (it is important for me to say groceries cos seriously, i'm not that kaya la ar to go shopping for clothes and shitz) the cold (how could I forget), and yeah, lots of other derivatives from the above.

When I say derivatives, I mean DERIVATIVES. Like the most imminent of them all - FACE-freaking-BOOK.

I am really saying this - it's probably the new root of evil. Money of course, would be the ever-prevailing champion..But it will probably have to share it's spot with Facebook, soon.

I might sound like one of the very sad people out there who blame Facebook for every peril in life...when in truth, they could have just practised a tad bit of discretion..

But, honestly...I have no idea how much more discreet I could get with the info I choose to share. No freaking idea.

It's not so much of discretion. I'm guessing it's more of how....facebook is basically a sad excuse for keeping in touch with friends. Actually, a brilliant excuse, but somehow it has been complementing the job of a stalker.

O.o

Ha. terkezut tak?

Lolz..

Stalking is, in other words, keeping in touch. Seriously.

I mean, how does this scenario look to you: You log into Facebook, you look at your homepage. See some status updates...and think, "Hmm, this is interesting. I'd like to see more from so and so..let's go sibuk2 :D"

So you click on the so-and-so's name. And BAM...all sorts of info...activities...you basically know their every step and action. I mean to say that FB has become such an important part of life that almost nothing from your real life is kept apart from this virtual BS. BS is short for you-know-what.

NOw, you tell me..what does a stalker do basically?

Ha...m not gonna answer that. I presume you would have thoughts of your own on that.

Keeping in touch is the more....civilised way (or whatever nice name you wish to call it la ar) of...stalking.

The point of me ranting away about this...is simple. Yours truly might have been guilty of stalking a certain someone in the past few weeks.

Please ah. Before you start going, "Ewww....omg! She did.NOT!", Lemme just explain myself okeh...I am generally, the type of person who doesn't give a shitz about what people do with their lives. I just saunter along...observing people and as the thoughts come into my head, I just pay a good amount of attention and go back to minding my own business. Always been that way.

The issue here is...I have not been in that usual element of myself these past few stalking weeks. I'd like to call these weeks as such. Simply because I feel that that is the cause for all this distress.

Simply put, I have nothing to do la..lolz...Homework mmg ade..but hello, who even looks at that until it's the final week of hols right...(at least I said final WEEK, not final few DAYS, okeh..)

But anyways, it happens. I have chosen to say it out here...cos well, I thought, let's just be honest and frank. Yours truly has her flaws, too you know...as GREAT as she can be...

Lolz...

So yea, a simple act of keeping in touch has turned into stalking. But not in the real sense of the word, thank god. It's not like I took a flight back to Malaysia and started stalking for real ok. Lolz..I kept a constant eye on the person's profile, that's all.

And that constant eye had a purpose. A reason.

Which I think, as of NOW, as of the 29th of December, 6.21 AM...actually 5 AM (I took time to mix some coffee and think about writing this post), is obsolete.

That's it. No more. I genuinely do not harbour any more interest in knowing.

:D

(if you notice, that's the first smile in this post...O.o)

You know, if there was one thing you could count on...it's me being truthful. I seldom or as the case would permit, NEVER, lie about my intentions. I don't fickle, either. If at all I choose to disguise my intentions using words or just body language, I will have a good reason for those too. Just like everyone else.

Only thing is, that seldom happens. I don't do disguises much. I don't prefer them. And so, what you see is what I really mean, and what you get. So, you can take me up on my word that I have no interest whatsoever. I just feel liberated, in other words.

You might be wondering what is the situation, exactly? Well, I have chosen that much of discretion. I am not gonna mention any names or even the reason la. Can't. Why? Cos it's private.

That actually sounded silly...but well, here's the thing - being very generous with my thoughts has not brought me much good. Lately, especially. It might provide a great deal of entertainment to the people hearing and watching, but oh no...not me. Lolz..So, for once, I choose to be selfish.

Come to think of it...I have always been vague with the stuff I write on this blog..hmm.. but in this case, yours truly has just poured her deepest, most private feelings and thoughts to a certain someone...and got ignored. Oh well, happens.

And now, coming back to the beginning of this post. I said something about being there for someone right? Well...as of this morning, right now...I basically had no one. No depressing reason all..lolz just that everyone's still sleeping or just went to bed...

I'm not really looking for anyone to share the "news" anyway. And this brings y'all to the main reason why I chose to get me butt of the comfy bed so freakin early to write.

Yours truly has something to impart to her dear followers and you, who just happened to come across this blog:

You are your own best friend. In times of distress and unhappiness, look no further than yourself for comfort and relief. Should anyone be around when you break down, if their shoulder is offered, cry on it. It's okay. But believe in one thing - no one but YOU would understand how YOU truly feel and so, who ELSE would know the right things to say to make you feel better?

So, relying on yourself wouldn't be that bad after all...for once, it's not wrong to be dependent. When you depend on yourself, I don't think it's called needy, is it?

If at all this post sounds mushy, whiny, etc.., I have this to say la - I had to do all that "whiny" explaining because this post had to make the right sense. I doubt I would want all that assumption going on in anyone's head. Lolz...serious control issues, huh? :p

But yeah..that said, even if the post still seems whiny...well, stuff it la...Ask anyone who loves to write...sometimes, your only refuge is that. Writing or whatever it is that you're good at, will not give up on you...not ever, I think.

Alrighty...enough ranting...

It's New Year in about 3 days peeps...

Sum up all your resolutions (this word just invokes uncontrollable sarcasm from me i swear..lolz) if any...and good luck aite?

Till next time..:D