Why being idle is bad for me...

I have a certain pattern about me that I have come to realise only recently. I am not sure if this would be wise to reveal. But yes, I have got plenty of time on my hands as of now (summer holidays) and I have been reflecting at unhealthy amounts. Lolz..well, reflection is supposed to be a good thing..(but "healthy" amounts just doesn't cut it..O.o)


Relationships.


I only get into one when I have a lot of idle time. The moment the idleness is over, so is the relationship. Even if it lasts a little into post-idleness, it doesn't really have a very good shelf life after that.


Which actually means I hurt the other person in the process..


Such is the pattern that I have come to realise exists within me.


It didn't please me at all, this realisation.


Another thing I am afraid of is karma...


All this hurt, it's going to come back to haunt me right? Well, the guilt is already a constant companion.


Sigh...